Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Hello 2 those who read tis blog of mine...(tho i knw 4 certain dat only 2 people read tis blog, my dearest & mak aila. Thks 4 taking some time 2 read tis lame blog of mine..). Well, its a new year...2007 has been quite a year 4 me. Its the year where i ORD-ed...the year i found love...the year where the tests of love was thrown onto me & my dearest bt we stayed strong & kept @ it. Its nt all smooth sailing 4 us...bt our love 4 each other made us stay 2gether & hopefuli till marriage, the birth of our children & grandchildren, insyallah.
Work has been ok so far...had to deal wif some office politics shit & i tink dat i did my best. Tho i had 2 be transferred out frm dat sch...i feel dat i didn't lose anything cos i did my best. Since dat bugger did any ways & means 2 put me down...even to the extent of bad-mouthing me 2 the teachers, all i cn say is,"Go f&*k off u short bastard!!!" Anyways, all dat is behind me nw...i'm nw roving to schs so dats ok wif me. I'm looking 4 a new job...a better paying job cos tis current job is paying me peanuts. Lots of work bt little pay...actuali went 4 an interview 4 an ICT executive position on the 10th. Juz waiting 4 them to call me back 2 take the technical test...hope i cn make it.
For 2008, i hope to have a better year...get a better job wif better pay, my family 2 see dat i cn make the right decisions 4 me, be a better man(pray more, read the Al-Quran more, be a family man etc.), love my dearest more...may tis year be a gd year 4 all of us. To my dearest, I love u...tho we hav been tested so many times b4, my love 4 u has nvr changed. To my frens, hope u all wil fulfill ur new year resolutions dat u made 4 2008...my resolutions?? Well, guess its all above... ;)
Monday, December 17, 2007
Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Don't speak as loud as my heart.
Tell me you love me, and come back and haunt me,
Oh, when I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
coming back as we are.
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy.
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start.
I'm goin to the start again...hoping dat i can be a better man 4 u.
I wan 2 see u again...& in the case dat i nvr or dat i find dat u alredi found someone else dat can make u reali hapi, i pray 4 ur happiness dat i cannot give u. I shall live my life out alone...
Monday, September 03, 2007
Guess i've done it tis time...promised my beloved dat i wud go 2 Comex wif her bt i can't cos my sis wanted me 2 go 2 Comex wif her oso. So i told my dearest my predicament & she said 2 go wif my sis...wen i asked her if she was ok goin alone, no reply. Wen the day came, i msged her & no replies...i knw she's upset wif me. I'm upset wif myself cos i didn't get 2 accompany her...i REALLI, REALLI wan 2 accompany her. Throughout the day, i msged her...i even called her phone but she didn't answered her phone. I'm sori dat i can't accompany u 2 the Comex Sayang...i realli wanted 2 spend time wif u!! But your action of not replying my msgs & answering my calls realli made me worry abt your safety...i was even hurt by it, knowing dat u're avoiding me. My mind played tricks on me dat u were out wif another guy...my heart ached even more @ dat thought. I knw dat if u were 2 go out wif another guy...i truly deserved dat for i didn't treasure u. In the end, i spent the whole day in my house worrying abt ur safety...forgive me, 4 all i wan 2 do is make my family accept u & make us b 2gether. I'm sori...4 hurting u & hurting me 2.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Life...i duno abt others but my life, as i see it, has been ok. The occasional ups & downs...the sweet moments wif ur loved 1s. Not 2 forget the bitter moments 2...i can say dat i'm happy wif my life @ the moment. Other ppl might go,"R u seriously happy wif ur life..? The pay is little, u get bossed ard, etc..."..well, i'm ok wif it. I do my job 2 the best of my abilities, & if ppl recognise dat den i'm happy...i've a girlfriend dat i love & care for. After so many years of loneliness, love came to me unexpected during IMF...tho things r abit tough 4 us. But i hope dat we can withstand it 2gether...
Guess i'm a simple man...as long as i'm happy & everyone ard me is happy, i'm satisfied. Tho its hard 2 satisfy everyone...each has their own definition of satisfaction. Bt i'm satisfied wif my life nw...tho i knw i nid to upgrade myself better. And i hope things wil juz get better 4 me, my dearest & our families & frens..nothing wud satisfy me more den seeing all of them doin well & in the pink of health, especially my dearest!! I love u sayang...i'm sori 4 the hard times dat we're facing nw..bt i hope dat we'll b strong 2gether & keep our love goin strong.
Monday, July 16, 2007
I hav 2 admit...all tis while, I've been living my life aimlessly. Goin thru everyday 2 the best of my abilities...trying my best 2 make everything go smoothly. Bt I guess nt everything in life can go smoothly...things r bad @ home, been given snide remarks abt marriage & stuffs. Nw, things between my dearest & me r getting bad 2...having arguements on & off. She even suggested dat it wud be better bein frens den lovers dat day wen i tot it wud make her feel better as i surprised her coming 2 her sch 2 fetch her after her gamelan practice...the fact dat she didn't even see me sitting there was alredi painful 4 me bt i guess she didn't see me so i let it go. Guess its all my fault...nt bein stern enuf 2 make my own way in life, telling my family 2 let me live my life. I've suffered enuf nt bein able 2 gain invaluable experience on my own 2 feet...I've let them control my life till they got so used 2 it dat they stil wan 2 do it even tho I'll be turning 25 tis yr. The fact dat she suggested us bein frens alredi showed wat a failure I am in life...proof dat maybe wat I've felt all thru out my life dat I'll nt hav a family is slowly becoming a reality. Maybe I'm nt fated 2 hav a family of my own...I'm fated 2 live out the rest of my life all on my own 4 I'm nt able 2 handle relationships well. Even my own family has kinda thrown me aside...& nw, she wans 2 do the same. She has her own reasons...& i understand. Who wud wan 2 be wif a guy who lets his mum control his life rite..?? A mummy's boy...like i told her, no girl wud wan 2 be wif a guy like me. Her patience is waning...& i understand. She's been patient all tis while & all i've shown her is nothing...no proof dat wat i've been doin is 4 us. Tho i hope dat she wud be a lil more patient...bt i can't keep her holding on forever. All our msgs used 2 be so lovey-dovey bt nw, its juz a few words & dats it...she said dat all i do nw is,"Hav a gd day & take care.." wen in fact, i don wan 2 force her 2 chat if she doesn't wan 2. Maybe, her patience has alredi worn out...my heart aches seeing her msgs being short & nt filled wif love.
Her suggestion kip playing in my head..."better bein frens den lovers". I knw wat i've been doin is hurting her...bt i knw, letting her go wil hurt her even more & hurt me 2. Hw i wish i cud change my life instantly & make things better 4 us bt changes nids time 2 take effect & somehow..time is nt on my hands. Tho i've tried 2 make time 4 us...it seems dat they r nt enuf. All my plans r nt gd enuf...all i'm seen 2 be doin is nt making any efforts 2 make things better 4 us. How i wish i cud make the world pause & let me be wif her...4 as long as i cn. Bt nw, it seems dat she has lost all hope on me...& she has every right 2, after all dat i've done. Nw, i shall live my life aimlessly...as i've always been doin all my life.
~=[RaMbLiNgS Of a sLaCkEr]=~
Monday, July 02, 2007
Tidak pernah terfikirkan tentang hidup
Bila senang kehidupanku
Engkau tiada di sisiku
Sedangkan aku berada jauh dari rona duka
Tahukah kau ku masih menyayangimu
Dan ku hirup bagai nafasku
Kasih yang sejati
Menciptakan mimpi yang kan terwujud
Dalamnya nanti kita berdua
( korus )
Menantikan saat termampu
Pelamin cinta milik kita
Kau tak pernah kucurangi
Malah sering ku mengingatkan...
"jangan kerna cinta sanggup kau korbankan
hingga hilang segalanya... hanya kerna cinta"
Tetaplah menjadi bintang itu
Bintang di hatiku
Peluk jiwaku oh...
Lenyapkanlah semua gundahku
Merawat hatiku
Damaikan jiwaku selalu
Things r hard 4 us now...its not only u who's feeling it.
I'm torn both ways...hoping 2 make my family happy so they can accept u & trying 2 make u happy. But I don mind goin thru all tis...its 4 our future dat I can bear all tis. Sorry 4 making u go thru all tis...wished it was much smoother 4 the both of us.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
I take all the blame...I assume too much. Dats another of my weakness...but after clarifying things wif her & assuring her dat I stil wan 2 be wif her, we're back 2gether. And frm nw on, I'll treasure her more...I'll try 2 be there 4 her more often, listen more & pay more attention 2 her. I'll do my best 2 make her happy...I'll cherish her more!!!
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to(countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
