Thursday, June 07, 2007



Inexperience...

Inexperience...in life, work & love. Guess giving into my family has caused me to have tis inexperience in tis areas of life...i didn't get 2 work after my O levels. I stayed home for 6 mths & looked after my nephew & niece back den...goin 2 the market 2 run errands & stuffs. Nw working life is abit tedious 4 me...trying 2 cope wif the work...trying 2 meet the expections of my superiors. I juz do my best in everything i do...juz hope it gets recognised.

Life...has its own experience 2 share wif different people. Some r good, some r bad...some r dull while some r interesting. Mine...can b categorised in the dull side. Nvr get 2 hang out much wif my frens...always went out wif my family. Nvr getting 2 do stuffs which my fren tried...not dat i wan 2 try drugs or sex. I juz wan 2 experience life...apparently, its 2 late 4 dat nw.

Love...only experience i hav of love is bein rejected twice. My heart fell...& broke, twice. Tho i admit, its kinda 1 sided love...stil its love rite? But nw i've experienced real, the feeling-is-mutual love...its wonderful. Its everything i imagined it wud be like...holding hands, whispering words of love into each other's ears, sharing laughter & jokes. Bt wat i didn't anticipated wud be the heartache dat comes along...guess the notion of happily ever after got stuck in my head & i didn't see the heartaches. Both sides feel it...1 side may feel it more den the other or maybe both. Heartache...along wif it comes tears. Flashbacks of gd times come along wif it 2...& ur heart aches even more. More tears roll down...it's a vicious cycle.

Is it true if u love some1, u've got 2 let her go..? But wat if u don wan 2 let her go..? Wat happens den..? Wud the love grow stronger..? Wud there be more heartaches..? Wat if the family disapproves..? Wat shud i do..? I wan 2 give her happiness..but it seems all i'm giving her is misery. Like i've told her...i don wan 2 be like the rest. She's been hurt by them & i don wan dat 2 happen again...but it seems dat wil happen anyway. Staying on gives her misery...letting go gives her misery, wat shud i do..? Wat shud i do..? Wat shud i do..?

Mum's been kinda lenient lately...letting me coming back home late & not yelling @ me like she used 2 do. Guess my prayers hav been answered abit...but i guess its stil not enuf. But i'm grateful 2 Him 4 granting my prayers abit...hopefuli the rest wil follow soon. But nw, i'll like 2 say a prayer 2 clear my mind & soothe my heart...so i can find some answers. Amin, Ya Allah
Rahmat blogged at 3:08 PM

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